If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Latest survey result: 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
On the other hand, . . . you have different fingers.
Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
Ham and Eggs. Just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
I intend to live forever. . . So far, so good.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
If we weren't meant to eat animals why are they made of meat?
Do you ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
What was the best thing
before sliced bread?
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
How come Dracula is so well-groomed if he can't see himself in a mirror?
A day without sunshine is like, . . . night.
Q: Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
A: Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.
Then there was the guy who didn't pay his exorcism bill... he was repossessed.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the dog.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands!
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
Why are wrong numbers never busy?