Literary Collaboration

From the Washington Post Invitational
Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors and provide a suitable blurb.

Honorable Mentions:

"2001: A Space Iliad"-The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane 10-year war against the Greeks after falling victim to the Y2K bug.

"Curious Georgefather"-The monkey finally sticks his nose where it don't belong.

"The Hunchback Also Rises"-Hideously deformed fellow is cloistered in bell tower by despicable clergymen. And that's the good news ...

"The Maltese Faulkner"-Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam's struggles with race and family? Does it signify his decay of soul along with the soul of the Old South? Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts to understand? Or is it worth a cool mil?

"The Silence of the Hams"-In this endearing update of the Seuss classic, young Sam-I-Am presses unconventional foodstuffs on his friend, Hannibal, who turns the tables.

"Portnoy's Choice": A man is forced to choose between his right and left hand.

"Jane Eyre Jordan": Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead the Chicago Bulls to the NBA championship.

"Nicholas and Alexandra Nickleby"-Having narrowly escaped a Bolshevik firing squad, the former czar and czarina join a troupe of actors only to find that playing the Palace isn't as grand as living in it.

"Catch-22 in the Rye"-Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you're flunking out of prep school, you're probably not insane.

"Tarzan of the Grapes"-The beleaguered Okies of the dust bowl are saved by a strong and brave savage who swings from grapevine to grapevine.

"Where's Walden?"-Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is always in the woods.

"Looking for Mr. Godot"-A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her life. She has a looong wait.

"Rikki-Kon-Tiki-Tavi"-Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove Rudyard Kipling's theory that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia.

Second Runner-Up:

"Machiavelli's The Little Prince"--Antoine de Saint- Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

First Runner-Up:

"Green Eggs and Hamlet"
Would you kill him in his bed?
Thrust a dagger through his head?
I would not, could not, kill the King.
I could not do that evil thing.
I would not wed this girl, you see.
Now get her to a nunnery.

The Winner:

"Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities"-An '80s yuppie is denied books. He does not object, or even notice.

Return to humor list