Robert M. Simmons
from Morning in Middleborough... (Poems 1991-2006)
Walter and Wayne at the Unisex Hair Salon
Walter parks his Volvo wagon
behind Wayne's Dodge Ram four-by-four
and reluctantly enters
the Spectrum Unisex Hair Salon.
He would rather go to Nick's Barbershop,
but Nick has passed away
and his shop has closed.
Wayne is reading an article in Time Magazine
about Sheik Omar
the one-eyed mullah
who eluded American forces in Afghanistan
on a moped.
There is a large, mean-looking red lump
covered with a Band-Aid
on Wayne's left brow
where a piercing ring became infected.
After perusing the signs and posters
promoting reiki,
total body massage,
aromatherapy and holographic nails,
Walter unbuttons his Harris Tweed jacket,
picks up the Gazette from a table
and sits next to Wayne.
He reads an article
about a large parcel of land
that was bequeathed to the town
to be used as a wildlife sanctuary.
Knowing that Wayne is an avid sportsman,
Walter shows him the article.
"That's cool," is Wayne's response.
Walter is puzzled by this
and is about to follow-up
when Wayne's cell phone chirps.
He stands to answer the call,
and while pacing back and forth,
conducts a loud conversation
with his ex-wife
about taking the kids for the weekend.
On several large screen monitors,
a music video featuring Christina Aguilera,
a Brazilian soccer match
and a celebrity interview with Darva Conger
are flickering in ghastly, glowing colors
while Walter wistfully recalls
that in South Bend, Indiana,
Notre Dame is playing Michigan today,
a game Nick would be watching
on his black and white TV.
When Wayne's cell phone is back in his pocket,
and he is seated,
Walter asks, "Why is that cool?"
and gets this reply, "If it's a wildlife refuge,
there will be lots of wildlife, right,
deer and ducks and stuff.
Hunting should be pretty good."
Madison, one of the stylists,
beckons Wayne to her now empty chair,
and he instructs her
to give him a surfer cut
with bleached ringlets.
While performing her magic
on Wayne's head,
she tells him about her recent vacation
spent bungee jumping in Bali.
Walter wishes he were home
sitting before a crackling fireplace
reading his gilt-edged, 1896 edition
of Thoreau's Cape Cod.
© 2003 by Robert M. Simmons
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Subjects: poems about, junk culture, popular culture, satire, poetry, poems
Walter and Wayne at the Unisex Hair Salon