I do not like olives. If someone invites me to eat and asks if I have dietary restrictions I tell them I can't stand olives. If there are any olives in anything I eat the taste of them overwhelms everything else and all I taste is that oil. If people start talking about olives around me I usually have to leave. Recently I was attending a play and two young men sitting behind me began talking about how much they enjoy drinking the juice that olives come in. The conversation was quite lengthy. I couldn't believe anyone could go on for so long about such a topic. And that I would happen to be sitting so close! I felt trapped.
It is a sore point in my marriage that my husband loves them. My daughter likes them too, but I don't understand why.
A Haiku, by Pam, about olives
I don't like olives
Black, green, pimento or no
I cannot stand them
I Do Not like Green Olives
a poem by Pam
(with apologies to Dr. Suess)
I am Pam
Pam I am
I do not like green olives...
I do not like them
that's a fact
I will not eat them with a feast
I do not like them in the least
I will not eat them from a bowl.
I will not eat them half or whole.
Not in a jail
Not in the hail
Not in my drink
Not from the sink
I will not eat them in my hummus
I will not eat them ground like pumice
I will not eat them.
I am Pam.
I will not eat them.
Pam I am.
A joke involving olives (that I actually do like)
One evening Charles Dickens was feeling bad and wandered into a bar. A friend saw him there and noticing that Mr. Dickens seemed upset asked what was wrong. "Well", he replied, "I just wrote a book, but I can't think of a title for it." His friend suggested that he stop thinking about it for a while and try out a new drink. Mr. Dickens agreed and his friend asked the bartender to bring two martinis. "Okay," said the bartender, "but do you want them with an olive or a twist of lemon?" Charles Dickens' face lit up when he heard this. "Now I know what I'm going to call my new book" he said- "Oliver Lemon!"
Other Olive haters
I Hate Olives - Facebook
I Hate Olives -Experience Project
The Great Upper Allen Elementary School Black Olive Revolution of 1967 (Scroll down a bit to get to the story)
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Updated August 26, 2011